Thursday, May 12, 2005


Blogging is still very new to me. I don't think I really understood it's meaning or purpose..or what I was supposed to say in my blogs, and how often.

But after some input from some of you I think I have finally found my structure.

I know that I can't commit to a daily blog, so to split the baby -and insure that there is fresh thoughts waiting for you to check out by logging into my blogging - I have decided to make my blog entries a weekly thing. With all of my best efforts I am going to commit to blogging my thoughts on things from the previous week's events in my life every Thursday in the month. Exceptions to this will be if I am out of town doing appearances, or making a movie, spending a holiday away from the computer, etc. With that said, I will blog on the Wedn before or the Fri after...something to that effect. ALSO, I wont be limiting my blogs to just the Thursday if something really SPECTACULAR comes to my mind, and I want to share, hey, you might have a couple blogs for the week..... ;-)

So let me kick things off. The blog entries will have two parts. Part 1 will be things going on in the porn industry that I want to talk about. And Part 2 will be things going on in my life that aren't porn-related, but yet I still want to talk about. ;-)

This came as a shock to me. I worked for Blue on HARD AS ROCK back in March 2002, where he directed me with his real-life boxer discovery Brad Rock. I never really felt a connection with Blue on the set. Personally, I think he prefers and worships his bodybuilder models over the other talent (that would be me) on the set. The scene I shot was difficult for me because , as a bottom I like to GIVE the bottom equal control in the scene. Blue directed the movie by kinda pushing me around, and having me worship and service Brad Rock in the showers. It was one of the few instances where I felt exploited and humiliated on a set. So to each his own. The positive thing that I got when I left the set was a determination from there on out to not accept film work that showcased the bottom as being degraded and pushed around (which is why I turned down the part that Ollie Kicks took when Trent Cougar fucked him silly in SEX PIGS, VOLUME 1. To Ollie's credit, he did a GREAT JOB.....Its just that that wasn't the type of persona I wanted to project).

But back to Blue Blake. WOW! So he has decided to close up his business and retire from the porn world. I know models retire and return and retire and return and retire all the time. It will be interesting to see if Blue truly is leaving the business for good. His muscle-god worshipping movies certainly had their audience (not me), but I think Titan does a much hotter job with muscle men. Still, I wish Blue the best of luck with his retirement!

The annual BBPP event in Palm Springs is over, and Will Clark has once again done an admirable job of raising movie for LA SHANTI. No gripes from me for the intent and purpose of the BBPP.

I DO gripe however at Will's public trashing of my name in public because I choose to do both bareback and safe sex video work, especially since word has it that Will barebacks in his personal life (according to many sources). I find this hypocritical in nature to attack me for something I do (on film and off) that Will probably also does (off and not on camera). I mean, if you are going to point a finger at barebacking in general, then you SHOULDNT do it AT ALL!


My friends went to go see THE INTERPRETOR, but I didnt go because dinner would have been after 8 PM, and the movie didnt start until 9:40 PM (East coast time). I have this mission right now to eat my last meal before 7 PM (who knows how long that will last, but the movie and dinner thing came about the very night that i made this mission go into effect). I hear the movie was decent, but I think I am ready for summer movies to take over the cineplexes anyway. Bring on the Sith!

My TV addictions this May include AMERICAN IDOL and AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL. On MODEL, NONE of the girls that are left interest me, so that addiction has waned. The bigger addiction for me is IDOL. Anthony was just eliminated last night (squashing my hopes that he and Bo would go head to head in the finale). With Anthony gone, Bo becomes my top choice to win the 4th season. Vonzell and Carrie are pretty, but Bo seems to be the real deal. And it will be great to have a 'rocker' win the event. .....I am waiting for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and LOST to come out on DVD. Since I missed early episodes of both shows, I have not watched either of them all season long. Instead, I hope they get their FIRST SEASONS released on DVD in late summer so that I can bone up on both shows before ABC starts airing Season TV in the fall.

Tonight I have to meet the owners of The Jackhammer bar, which is where my company Cre8tive Juices will be premieiring our first release DIRECT DEPOSIT on May 28th. My business partner cant make it, so I have to do this meeting solo. I am a bit nervous about that. I also am starting to get some anxiety when I go out in public...

I first noticed the anxiety yesterday at the gym. It felt like people were watching my every rep (which i was probably lifting wrong anyone, but thats beside the point). It could have been my imagination, sure! But the anxiety was there, nonetheless. It's also crazy because no one comes up to me and talks to me...even though I catch them looking or staring. For me, it's very difficult sometimes to be alone shopping or lifting or eating in public. When I have a friend, it's alllll good and i dont get the anxiety attacks. But when I am alone, I get real shy and stuff....

OKIE DOKIE...that was WEEKLY BLOG: 1. See ya next week! ;-)


Blogger Corbeau said...

You know, I should have said, establish the discipline to blog on a regular basis. I'll have to remember that. ;)

I really like the format you've chosen. It's "fun" to read about what's going on in the porn industry. One seldom gets insider info like you provide on any venue. For me it's facinating. Like wise, glimpses into your everyday life is both fun and enlightening.

I'm wondering about those guys at the gym. How many could be thinking, "That guy looks just like the guy in the film I jacked off to last night. Nah, no fuckin' way. Damn, he sure does look like him. Down boy, down." I imagine it's not like Hollywood. "Didn't I see you as an extra in LOTR? Last scene?" is a bit different from, "Hey, did you bottom for TenInch BeercanDick, in my favorite porn movie? Man I came 4 times in the first two scenes." The first could be a pickup line, the second, well...has that ever happened to you?


12:17 PM  
Blogger healthyblogger said...

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Here are some helpful hints for stress and college student …

A simple hot compress applied to the face is very soothing to those throbbing aches and pains of a blocked sinus, while a few drops of eucalyptus oil on a handkerchief can provide welcome relief for similar conditions. While supplements of vitamin C, D and zinc will shorten the lifespan of a common cold, a hot lemon drink is also extremely good. And be sure to cuddle-up in bed when you have a cold, as it will make the body sweat out the germs.

Cool lemon juice and honey are a great soother for a sore throat and gives the body much-needed vitamin C at the same time The juice of one lemon in a glass of water is sufficient. Melt the honey in a little hot water for ease of mixing.

A smear of Vaseline or petroleum jelly will do wonders for those sore lips and nose that often accompany a cold.

A 'streaming cold' where the nose and eyes water profusely, can respond to drinking onion water. Simply dip a slice of onion into a glass of hot water for two seconds, then sip the cooled water throughout the day. Half an onion on the bedside table also alleviates cold symptoms because its odor is inhaled while you sleep.

People prone to catarrh may find that chewing the buds from a pine or larch throughout the day will clear up their condition in just a few days.

Do you suffer from sore eyes? If your eyes are sore from lengthy exposure to the sun, try beating the white of an egg and then spread it over a cloth and bandage the eyes with it. Leave the preparation on overnight. Soft cheese (quark) is also a good remedy for this condition.

For those unpleasant times when you suffer from diarrhea, two tablespoons of brown vinegar will usually fix the problem. Vinegar can be rather horrible to take, but who cares! The problem is more horrible. Vinegar can usually be found in most people's cupboards, so you don't need to worry about finding someone to run to the shop for you in an emergency.

Sleepless? Instead of reaching for sleeping pills, which can quickly become addictive, try this: Drink only caffeine free tea or coffee starting late in the afternoon.. Go to bed earlier rather than later, as being overtired tends to keep people awake. Make sure the bedroom is dark and quiet. Use only pure wool or cotton sheets and blankets. Polyester materials can cause sweat and make you thirsty (if your child constantly asks for water throughout the night, this could be the reason).

And don't watch those scary movies just before retiring! If you still can't sleep, make a tea of lemongrass or drink a nightcap of herbal tea containing chamomile. It's easy to grow lemongrass in your garden or start a flower pot on the balcony for ease of picking. Simply steep a handful in boiling water for five minutes. Honey may be added for a sweetener.

Of course there will be times when you do need modern drugs, so if these simple remedies don't have the required affect, be sure to see a health care professional.

stress and college student

7:23 AM  
Blogger healthyblogger said...

It’s 11:00 in the morning and your energy is waning. Minutes seem to tick by like hours and your mind feels foggy. You’ve still got six more hours to look alert and act productive and get over anxiety drug, so how do you cope with the afternoon blahs? Follow these six tips!

1. If you have a job that involves sitting at a desk all day or staring at a computer screen, take five minutes to stand up or lean back, close your eyes and stretch, especially in your shoulder and leg areas. Being seated all the time can make your whole body feel stiff and sleepy. A good stretch session helps limber up your body and gets the blood flowing again.

2. Avoid the tempting lure of caffeine or sugar-laden foods such as coffee, tea or chocolate. Caffeine may perk up your energy levels temporarily, but it also has a bad habit of leaving you sluggish after the effect has worn off. Instead, choose whole grain foods, fruits and vegetables to give your body the fuel it really wants! Eating healthier will boost your mood, elevate your alertness, change anxiety drug and make you feel better all day long.

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4. Sometimes, afternoon slumps can be your body’s way of telling you that it needs something. You may be feeling tired if your blood sugar is low (which happens especially after the effect of those caffeine and high sugar foods has worn off!). Packing a low calorie snack like graham crackers, granola, fruit or vegetable slices can give your body a boost and keep you from feeling hungry in the late afternoon and caving in to the urge to devour the entire contents of the vending machine after work!

5. Drowsiness is often a sign that you’re not getting enough water. Drinking more water throughout the day not only helps keep you awake, but also keeps you from feeling those hunger pangs that inevitably creep up in mid-morning. Taking a large sports bottle that you can drink from throughout the day is a great way to get your recommended eight glasses a day as well!

6. If afternoon fatigue is a recurring problem, it may be a side effect of medications you are taking. Allergy pills are well known culprits, as are some blood pressure and anxiety/depression medicines. Don’t try to circumvent these effects with caffeine, otherwise you’ll overload your body with stimulants while it’s already trying to deal with drowsiness, and you’ll feel mentally and physically exhausted. Instead, try a short 15-20 minute catnap. You’ll be surprised how refresh you’ll feel when you wake up! (Don’t try this at work though – I know it’s tempting!)

If you follow these tips on a regular basis, you’ll not only make it through the afternoon blahs, but you’ll also feel better physically and mentally, sleep better at night, and wake up rejuvenated and re-energized the next morning. Make it a GREAT day! anxiety drug

2:10 PM  

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